chuck this out

 

Cheshire cheese riots

 

they sneezed when lobsters set off to conquer a waning Moon but the Sea of Tranquility would never be the same after the Second Career Battle hoards of vegan life forms settled on the mud and commenced interbreeding operations whereupon a coalition of Jerichans in jerrycans launched their long campaign to regain historic oil drilling rights lost during Bruckner’s seventh truck horn concerto but & let’s have no iffy hands on the boodle war was declared so everyone went home to Wellington boots & shake their owl sou’westers out

 

 

Britain’s Got Gravity

 

wasn’t Newton half a saint

when the apple hit his pate

first he cried Eureka then

busted a gut

 

meanwhile those that fail to dig

Britain’s big discovery

Ivan & his pals can bog

off to the back

 

if the Yanks agree we’ll sell

shares so willing friends can take

part in planting guaranteed

hobnails on ground

 

jumping jellyfish a speech

act to burst our bloating pride

lead balloons won’t save us now

word has come down

 

Britain’s finest hourglass

cracked in umpteen places please

help yourselves to souvenirs

changing the lease

 

 

Jericho jive

 

here’s wha’happen when you shake somebody’s land

uncontrollable forces slide into play

better kill their men of fighting age or pay

hit squads till the end

 

slavery has always been an option but

carefully invest the profits or you’ll see

smart machines that replicate their work & cut

productivity

 

grounds for pigrimmage should bring in sacks of dough

theme park keepers money changers souvenir

merchants all agree the plot is sacred though

sink holes follow tears

 

title deeds tattooed on human skin it’s blood

archaeologists agree to disagree

would that rival engineers & farmers could

break bread over tea

 

Their permission not withstanding bloke upstairs

has to get the final word in it’s goodbye

cruel world & crossing fingers say your prayers

last will’s on a die

 

 

ctrl+alt+del

 

Farmer Brown forgot

where to plant his crops

Father White took up

worshipping hops

 

Schubert’s comic pop

songs left Schumann star

stuck on Waterloo

Abba’s first hit

 

Britain’s army lost

World Wars One & Two

Hitler won the peace

prize for his art

 

Trump retired to play

chess in Mexico

Lennon staged a come

back from the grave

 

hang on there that’s not

quite impossible

rating everything

else ’bout the same

 

 

ranting on my sick-bed

 

anti-indiscriminate

Uncle give your crown a break

provocation victim-blame

all the above

 

now the dogs are off their leads

warfare’s nicely out of hand

kills the very ones it tells

fibbles to save

 

friendly fire undertakes

people at each other’s throats

humans squabbling over hedge

rows & revenge

 

justice pull the other one

concentration campfire blues

Arabs Jews collaterals

inmates & guards

 

screw the lot of youse that don’t

care about the kiddies old

folk & those who’d compromise

talking a fence

 

 

à la recherche d’un objet volé

 

clever bombs

put this child’s

severed hand

back

nothing less

can redress

all her dreams

ye

science gods

make her whole

if you want

peace

don’t be cruel

universe

bend the rules

or

scuttle off

where you came

from you smart

bums

 

 

one state solution

 

blaming victims shaming cats

the impossible is best

done as though you had to put

death to the test

 

course the rest’s a matter of

facing down inherent guilt

pogroms happen no one coughs

blood when it’s spilt

 

medicine is practiced by

engineers while doctors dole

out the Zyklon-B & why

not on the whole

 

land is fertilised like this

stained with pots of human sap

not with stolen promises

less of the crap

 

smoke these rodents from the ground

flush em out & crush their heads

flat before they make a sound

guilty is dead

 

 

after words

 

following the last

war our world economy

never quite returned

 

something’s missing said

Baron Stickemup & Lord

Killingspree replied

 

blame the Internet

people speaking out of turn

time the plug was pulled

 

but The King formerly known as Prince had bogged

off to Bogmouth or some place

out of countenance

 

so the mongers had

nothing nuch to do besldes

welching on their debts

 

 

Cracked Pot Theory

 

humanitarian war

crimes committed after death

or before the child is born

pausing for breath

 

every sin forgiven if

yep there’s gonna be a catch

Simon says it makes no diff

not on your watch

 

in or out of time across

several universes while

profits turn a healthy loss

unreconciled

 

Nelson coins it seeing no

blips on the oscilloscope

let the warts of dogfare go

sleep off the rope

 

since you gotta live & die

might as well be for a cause

just because or who cares why

go with the pause

not out!