Christmas crackers 2014

Christmas

crackers
2014

hi Q

in the name of all get out

look down on this work

& call a bad job well done

beware the boatman trailer

should you believe stuff like

supernatural superhumans

live the afterlife of goodies

& hell for evil doers or

that runaway girls are bed'n'boarded

by cuddly bears in deep forests

you won't need reminding the shift

from life to death's a homeward journey

strange as fact

a silvery groat

that sticks in the black

river mud of your throat

or should you believe in stuffing

like a full English breakfast

followed by naked

lunch sur l'herbe

then Xmas dinner at Woolworth's cafeteria with

paper crowns glass of plonk & all the trimmings

you will hardly need reminding

that to leave Santa a cute note

2 mince pies &

glass of milk

scores you a caped action crusader

with eyes that glow red in the dark

al Q

shirtlifters caught with i-dolls

will be shaken down

blindfold & cut to the quick

back to the furniture

while a wicca van

white as the driven man

crosses a hill

for the annual kill

dark clouds hasten

ravens home to their haven

buy Q

jingo balls buy jingo balls

at all the best malls

buy jingo balls jingo balls

not great expectations again

the burnished bronze

of their doorknobs

turned me jealous

a little voice said

unscrew & steal

them as scrap

another recommended

I wedded their big

brass daughter

middle Q

all who've read Hilton Coalfield's

Gotcha In The Wry

will know what this means by now

omniphobia

stuck on this planet

not a hitch in sight

not a stitch in the whole warp & weft of time

oh ho ho my perfect Ford

how on earth will I chill

out the next 2 millennia

lo Q

frozen monkeys not from here

type facetiously

random stabs at Shakespeare's Lear

safety in numbers

nobody's gonna top six mill

not this side of Armageddon

Stalin did come pretty close they say

above a gross snuffed out on his watch

but starvation & neglect don't egg the custard

like bullets in heads & nudes in gas chambers

no Adolf's on safe ground with his ½ doz

apart from a few discreditable deniers

casting aspersions on the history world

even those old spiders of Mars

won't count if they bloody show up

close encounters with death rays

only Google into acts of god

non Q

so come all ye faithful

the time to hesitate is through

the back door and down the fire escape

Let us bray!