Wednesday, 1 May 2019

The Poodle Shop



Peter Kavanagh's


another stab at Larkin


Sidney Bechet was a colourful
import wouldn't stand his kind next door
played soprano sax angelic on
vinyl of course

heard at sweaty joints where tarts with beards
scared the pants off you preferred a home
entertainment system scotch on tap
frill-less no bills

discs for one thing let you catalogue
hoards of sleeveless numbers stripping off
followed by some fiendish fingerwork
deep as the night

war & peace saw decent progress through
45 to the long player though
seldom did you stand for anything
backside of doors

Bechet had his dark recesses too
stood his women down but sex-o-phone
jazz played live on stage was something else
kissed no one’s ass



banned in Sparta


Archie & the Locosts' tribute act
flogs a poet's soul for soldiers' pay
in or out of uniform you choose
just get them pissed

somehow cash must be exchanged for wine
payment's due as soon as it has crashed
on the bar no credit given out
this side of war

Archie's pals let's call them men at arms'
length can pipe & play kitara in
imitation of their sovereign lord's
former cohorts

fronted by a spindly spear man
sings like burning olive sticks & cracks
jokes the guy himself would have to laugh
horny old goat

banned in Sparta as we've said before
still the Helots sneak their hero in
festivals of drunk no way take place
sans Archie’s voice



Paul Birtill poet


swear to god I've never seen him eat
half a bag of crisps or someone's nuts
left behind if they have buggered off
no fish or chips

pass the blighter's lips or Christmas pud
sure he’s tasted food a Catholic
boy at heart took bread with wine at mass
which did for starts

sometimes thought cos I’m a veg it's guilt
wouldn’t want me letting him devour
carcasses of animals in sight
that would be weak

no the simple truth he's mean enough
not to stuff himself while in his keks
beer money tries to bide its time
wincing at the price of cigarettes



been there done that

folks who are prepared to leave their homes
shelving most of what they known & trust
start their lives again on unknown ground
get my respect

living on their wits & memories new
faces take the place of kith & kin
jobs may flip as former managers
start behind bars

Mum or Dad too far away to help
sis or bro with other folks in tow
those who finished university
learn from Day One

languages & customs even faiths
get exchanged like debunked currencies
with their drop in value they expect
less than they get

self reliance shoulders refugees
economic migrants desperate folk
call them what you will the tasks they face
immense respect




The Poodle Shop


Chris & I would fight to sing it first
there in Old Swan where shaggy dogs had
hairdos dating back to '63
The Poodle Shop

straight through '66 the thrill wore on
even when England won the World Cup
chiming in like Beatles we replied
The Poodle Shop

jingles dominated our TV
hearts & minds those days we hollered our
homespun contribution to the scene
The Poodle Shop

don't know why I gotta write this down
'cept to say it happened during times
Chris and I were brothers in the car
The Poodle Shop

could have driven Mum & Dad insane
but I think they got a kick from it
Chris would try to beat me every time
The Poodle Shop


No Dogs On Leash!

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