a smoking lamp

only a twit

I

doctors keep their secrets well as lies

few will ever tell you how your heart

rate is less than half the story beats

measured in slow

thuds’ll pump more pints of blood per min

than the flutters nothing compares weight

lifting shudders as your kettle drum

rocks without rolls

meditating medication works

too though not the auto brainwash kind

single minded at the point of truth

focus on breath

working boxers in the ring must keep

going though there’s nothing left to do

stamina will get you through the most

trying of times

fair or foul survival in the wild

makes demands that town-bred folk may miss

real adrenalin beats hot & cold

mindful is all

II

Michael’s girl was slim but puppy weight

meant her Terry towel bikini stretched

branding her a Botticelli wow

thought the young man

he was not her first she’d foiled the field

plucky cherub had a rugby half

coupla jokers plus a steady boyf

during her teens

wouldn’t let him use protection strange

even she surprised herself a gent

Michael said no sweat let’s take the test

me first then you

slow she liked to play & tore a strip

tongue in cheek of course you know the rest

that’s a question by the way you don’t

Peg was supine

trying every move to raise her twitch

Mike was stumped she ruled his efforts off

side oh my how pearly was her tum

baby had pride

III

dominatrix may take any form

Peg was not some broad in shiny boots

wielding whips to order him about

bedtime apart

Mike rebelled at first her mark untrue

letting go she told him make your choice

lover boy or former bloke he fled

all of a week

go consult a shrink or buy the book

cheaper less embarrassing but no

use psychology was negative

humans were weird

sick & sad the answer puzzled him

life consists of endless choices one

wrong decision wouldn’t change a thing

surely he hoped

love was daft & Mistress Peggy round

he a square so who’d attempt to fit

doubt into a life of selfish bliss

only a twit

a smoking lamp

I

Chinese lanterns eh

thousand candle power jobs

hissing paraffin

friend of mine recalls

using one at home way back

when their town was dark

of an evening five

children did their homework all

crowded round the lamp

till the time it burst

taking half his ear off

burnt his notebook too

cheap & cheerful don’t

come without a scorpion’s

tale it makes you think

II

populism claims

China gave the world a cold

breathing fossil fuels

eating bats & ant

eaters when they knew the risks

viruses could jump

like it’s not the first

incident but twice before

time to shame their name

now they’re buying up

half these bankrupt countries one

big conspiracy

cheap & cheerful means

sow Confucius but beware

bull in China store

III

don't pretend to know

who’s to blame maybe the Grinch

cheapskate or scapegoat

six of one half a

dozen to the other yeah

what goes around yeah yeah yeah

even this so-called

poem stokes controversy

Stoke-on-Trent you dig

China’s here to stay

they’re not flogging opium

fit to start a war

but you got admit

bats & pangolins ain’t food

as Confusion says

Not Yet!