ontology for dummies

a skoal on Heineken

 

if the price of booze doesn't go up

soon the world is surely gonna end

prudence shouldn’t mean Thou Shalt Not spend

draining the cup

 

during the fifth century BCE

when the Greeks had their supremacy

oldsters drank all night then curled their toes

praising the gods

 

now in armfuls neo opioids

flood the market bringing joy to those

celebrants of hypochondriac

slay me a cock

 

friends this ain’t no time for turning back

raise your standards kick the saintèd arse

downstairs & drown Falstaff in his sack

Crimbo at last

 

Hovis Bunsen stand for president

Jed make way for youth on crack cocaine

send this dirty year back whence it came

that’s what I meant

 

wild robot stew

 

lobster cheese is off

so the waiter wants to know

if we’re up for it

 

take a peek at you

cos I know your preferences

rarely stretch that far

 

but today you’re game

call it vegetarian

all except the name

 

proof of it’s the taste

rich in sautéd graphics cards

wire noodles stir

 

fried capacitors

best of all comes sprinkled with

shredded memory boards

 

 

ontology for dummies

nothing exists

if it didn’t we'd be somewhere else

nor would anyone be having this

argument which as you say we aren't

 

wisdom of fools

serves us both as enemy & friend

you & I camped out at Loggerheads

individual conspirators

 

Marx would agree

thesis antithesis synthesis

feudalism leading capital

down the banks & up the garden path

 

Groucho that is

Karl I daresay'd put it otherwise

wrote a book I'll read when time allows

which it won’t prefering Sherlock Holmes

 

so here we go

Socrates you never listened while

Mozart's Requiem had even God

calling home the bloody Prodigal

 

 

 

thus spake Lady Superman

  

long before they understood

people practised genocide

ploughing fields diluting skies

Mammon was praised

 

overwhelming humankind

bugs have done this underhand

service as extinguishers

clearers of decks

 

such recovery how grand

seldom in the course of time

has a harvest filled the sacks

species galore

 

like the giant meteor

civilisation just left

fifty million promised lands

desertified

 

counting insects coral reefs

giant fossils cancer wards

shellfish mites & stuff on shelves

boggles the mind

 

*

 

Lady Superman remains

buried though the grave survived

through antiquity her corpse

mummified well

 

hewn from skin & bone a mask

bears the imprint of her face

while the stone sarcophagus

buggers belief

 

paragon of nurture she

reigned before inhuman greed

started worshipping itself

Lady S stood

 

less in effigy than flesh

was adored by all a queen

bee could look her in the eye

she’d hardly blink

 

though she died as humans did

when their time was called yes luck

had it matriarchs were doomed

kingdoms next up

 

*

 

here’s the gist of what she preached

once upon a time my dears

maiden aunts & uncle queers

made their own beds

 

every night in different groves

snug as careless borogroves

far above the forest floors

long before wars

 

scared the scar-faced immigrants

folk would sing & dance all day

eating fruit & drinking whey

ants in their pants

 

babies clinging round their necks

did I call them virgins nay

families were more like packs

people were gay

 

cavaliers not roundheads they

lived & died the natural way

spoke in consequential terms

sometimes ate worms

 

 

 

a soap impression

 

cop mistakes her hubby for a hat

gun it's easy done & fancy that

saw a lobster Leonard Bernstein scored

during the war

 

no the Sixties book by Oily Socks

sorry wrong again Oliver Sex

zooming Delvaux & René Magritte

under my feet

 

look it takes a spook these days to tell

criminal & decent folk apart

half the time with immigrants from hell

heavenly scent

 

the ol’ factory nerves get twisted see

gosh what isn’t going wrong with me

all that Night Train glycerine we sunk

walking the plank

 

take this down my life you'll get us shot

hardly means a thing but just the job

pays the mortgage it's that other mob

working the plot

 

 

half burnt half baked

 

time he put his brogue

down & gave us all a break

little but a rogue

cheap at half the price

should have made his bargain but

Hovis shall be sliced

yet another year

toast the blighter pumping stale

phony Christmas cheer

secret weapon Geek

fire stuck for words I say

start another war

Bunsen burners out

back to back then walk & turn

Pentecostal doubt

never the never!