more scurrilous verse

with shots of impertinence

Latin tags

 

in for a dig

Tutankhamen’s curse

choice of Putin’s verse

bonehead scores a wig

 

status quo gig

oldies go for broke

3 chord wonder folk

milkshake from a pig

 

Bayer beware

drugstore fiction pool

what you learned at school

who says dogs don’t care

 

lend me your ears

mine are full of wax

save on heart attacks

change Disraeli gears

 

tempus fudgecake

talk of fiddlesticks

famous Oxbridge pricks

mine’s a pint of snake

 

 

 

Spain or bust

 

see the choke-point Rose

snot below the chin

watch the fun begin

under your nose

 

refugees it’s self

strangulation time

struggling for a rhyme

bottomless delf

 

singing songs of six

hundred thousand pence

pockets empty sense

less of your tricks

 

go home Yank demand

better healthcare jobs

governments with nobs

on where you stand

 

not this shaky ground

blow up dinghies cross

borders of the mind

cut like your boss

 

 

 

sale on trinkets

 

best of British bonehead soup

rack of porkies bullock poop

codex-bust of Betty Boop

 

censor favoured chocolate lube

buy one get one free the tube

better’n a rubric cubed

 

buttered pancakes by the trope

Action Man with microscope

Supergirl the people’s hope

 

give your back a mighty rub

buy this wonder wormwood scrub

female transportation hub

 

finally the astrolabe

makes a comeback what a gave

 

 

 

at Cinderella’s

 

there were fathers sons

mothers daughters all

manners what a ball

some with their guns

 

tiers of monied folk

settling debts polite

speeches terrified

teachers & woke

 

preachers quick to bless

newlyweds divorced

parents those with forced

smiles to address

 

aunties drinking cold

sober uncles bad

dancing masters sad

music on hold

 

yes the party swung

canapés consumed

quietly I fumed

foot on the rung

 

 

 

Gringo County blues

 

acres of vacuous pfaert

factory hooters greet the day

nay it’s cockerels doves & bray

donkeys who start

 

up yes they don’t have to work

dogs & all the countryside’s

one machine but who decides

hands up the jerk

 

that’s responsible y’know

take a goodly piece of mind

you that ring the tocsin why

seven & blow

 

eight then nine or ten o’clock

sacrilege of beauty sleep

let the morning hours creep

out with the cock

 

Sunday should be special stay

bedside until noon at least

snoring till the midday feast

breaks like the day

 

 

 

no fool me

 

had a quiet word with God

said they’d made a small mistake

never mind for heaven’s sake

leave it to Plod

 

so I told the Chief Police

Man the crooks have got away

get your guys to earn their pay

less chasing geese

 

but the Colonels had been tipped

off their faces bore no strife

gross contempt for human life

hands up they quipped

 

still I wasn’t taken in

paid a lawyer overtime

proved saluting was a crime

also a sin

 

finally I caught the King

tryna sneak a dinghy out

robbed the geezer of his doubt

boy could they sing

 

 

 

X-aisle

 

if it wasn’t for the ordinary laws

saving homicide & marriage vows of course

ancient Britons would’ve stayed within their shores

these are the dictates

 

what’s the point in dealing with them other states

double trouble spinning someone else’s plates

then there comes the risk of making bezzie mates

not on the job Rob

 

Liverpool was always somewhere you could choose

self reliance over staying in the grove

plus the chance of finding everlasting love

hanging your robe Jobe

 

but the century of wars got out of hand

didn’t matter where you came from understand

more than half the world is sea you gotta land

somewhere or you’ll drown

 

by the way you heard what else is going down

other planets on the cards some Yankee clown

claims he has the ships to do it but the crown

jewel yer man snores

No Time Before The Mole Is Out!