1919 & all that jazz

inverse eyes @2020 look

back thru tainted goggles Frenchies Brits

Yanks & sundry lesser outfits caught

Germany off

guard the wicket stuck on Old Regime

petty fours to shouts of six we bowled

turtle soup from mobster plot tureens

Nero cuisine

put Trimalchio's repast to shame

nymphos served injust desserts on tec

tonic plates of messe de pottage camp

fires burned unchecked

burps & hiccoughs slurps of brandy smoke

Louis quinze looked down in effigy

aprés moi you deli cats he urged

who is dese folks

fête accomplis paid on credit so

what the cost or if decorum lost

ten not out to help your bloody selves

in for a dig

*

Mr Churchill button-holed our host

puis-je demand au vernaculaire

de cette table oh fermez les Bosch

cried Clemenceau

Wilson not to be dishonoured pulled

out his gun & popped a serving man

just for fun now never say we Yanks

don't know our tropes

Lennon whose invitation got smudged

in the post was there by telegram

Molotov with cocktail poised said stop

me & buy one

spliced of course with Chaplin Charles but worse

was to come beyond the trampled gates

Germany impersonated by

Korporal Von Klot

wagon wheels exploding bells & hell's

balls a-swinging from his lugs remained

shaking at the knees forgive his French

encore mein twat

*

by the morning of the night before

no one knew quite who had said just what

wrapped in table cloths we bagged our loot

swaggering off

some had homes to go to others not

those with silver candlesticks & plates

made for bishoprics & sovereign states

pleased with their lot

several gathered victuals reasoning

hungry jaws would snicker as they snuck

by so cake to trade as bread was wise

knowing Versailles

knives & forks embroidered serviettes

ringed with gilt were favoured by the few

who professed a souvenir would do

journeys that long

lastly ready-handed spilled the lost

generation hordes whose wits were shot

grateful for our lives we hit the streets

pairs of left feet

***

still the bunfight raged on soldiers' pay

tilting stragglers reached their promised lands

singing by the boat load train or push

cart in the rain

officers & men with kitbags new

packing hairlock pistols bayonets

pomegranates gramophones & old

Exchange & Marts

even those who’d never stepped abroad

claimed rewards in borrowed uniforms

boasting like heroes that zeros had

stuck to their guns

speeches we endured in county town

halls profane the words of praise to face

no man's land had been a better place

peaceful at times

when the gin kicked in it made one think

soldiering did have its qualities

knew your enemies but civvies were

good for a drink

*

Scott Fitzgerald wrote his novel then

Proust coughed up the biscuit of research

Switzerland had held a nest of such

confidence men

bankrupts all their credit sunk in art

speculation dada tigers who

cheerio’d down chiaroscuro streets

curtsied like fools

time to face the bloody music act

brave & play concertos with both hands

tied behind the back abandon truth

chapter & verse

show they hadn’t sung in castle vaults

silently from rooftops playing rag

requiems for chums who'd drowned in mud

innocence hung

out to dry in Voltaire cafés where

prohibition played straight into gang

land scenarios took some resolve

totalled on tea

*

hic twas claimed that war kicked off in smoke

rooms or homebrew joints for every gun

toting patriot the God squad read

Satan on hooch

did great wonders for the smugglers' trade

surely not don’t take my word we Yanks

banned it very morning after world

peace was declared

that’s absurd you said it Brother like

blaming rape on women who dress up

war was down to men who'd had too much

Dutch here’s the catch

logic doesn’t mix with politics

in democracy the lowest twits

pitch their wits beneath the belt then watch

God do the rest

pull the other Sister thought of that

bloodshed does attract a deal of bull

title fights aren't won by halves it's drink

up or shut up

***

Uncle Brit & Auntie France why not

set our friends a great example give

back those empires show the world that peace

means business eh

what a neat idea take that down

here this pack of cigarettes is smoked

tell it at the Rose & Crown tonight

wonderful hoax

true in Blighty things ain't smelling rose

half these chaps have lost their jobs to fops

what will all the soldiers do we'll send

them out as cops

free the states it's got a ring to it

be elections soon Communism's

on the rise how about dominion

status for them

seriously Nuncle haven't they

earned the right to independence let

those who've fought for freedom off a bit

rule their own waves

*

talk like that is fit for Bolsheviks

ten to one we'll meet at Waterloo

everyone is waiting on a pax

Britannica

with our European pals in crime

all the civilising countries know

just to give their colonies away

Dude isn’t due

off their bottle that's Amerikar

to a model T let’s see them quit

money first then litigation sex

for heaven's sake

slavery which took us long enough

white man's burden in a six-inch shell

he who fails to down his stirrup cup

see him in hell

mark my words if prohibition reigns

seven years they’ll drink then seven more

judging vices comes before a fall

Congress's call

*

jaw-jaw with a Mallampati score

high enough to end this war of wars

heard that somewhere before I suppose

me too here goes

everyone's invited to a bash

weekly on the promenade at lake

Wozzname grab a gal we'll have a blast

drinks on the house

talking shops are de rigeur these days

peace diplomacy & all that jive

best behaviour on the dance floor no

stepping on toes

cutting in will be allowed of course

modern dress & when the music stops

cabaret with all the latest acts

shenanigans

best of all it's international rules

what goes down in Switzerland will stay

there who’s not to love the best of both

worlds old & new

***

Gatsby where’s your country going hold

on Old Sport Chicago fix the World

Series for me will ya atta boy

Wolfie's a dream

you were saying never mind the girl's

got a hubby tail her to the far

side of paradise we'll rendezvous

there in the car

here we go again now try to keep

up you know he seldom drinks that's odd

figured him for a bootlegging hound

plays cricket though

there’s some truth in what you said before

damned if I remember let’s go home

party's over bar the shooting one

more for the road

right you are a cigarette my house

for a smoke this Russian whitey meets

Frenchie with a Limey on the road

to Monty Carl

*

O Daisy darl life's a car crash for

two no sorry you were great in bed

plus your money's oke but that’s not rich

gotta be orf

who'd’ve thought I’d utter life’s a bitch

can’t we go to Europe start afresh

sell this pile exchange East River for

Riviera

live it up on two per cent of nix

you're forgetting something Major Gatz

destiny awaits us where we are

get out the car

you believe that stuff of course I do

liar but the French & Brits are thru

Germany will have its turn of peace

war & then us

girlfriend we could make it anywhere

what if I don’t want to tell you what

grab Manhattan first then take New York

state's on a plate

*

didn't Mrs Cody make it plain

can’t have happy endings all the time

principal has gotta take a fall

stroke of thirteen

made an art form outta hit & run

living fast & dying young the crime

ain't no loss of life it's breaking faith

rules of the game

rather stick around for best of both

such romantic notions sup your drink

poisoned chalice two to tango whoa

king for a day

sorry love the sun is setting I'll

miss the next I know it's asinine

hold my hand I'm dying like an oaf

partner in rhyme

kiss me darling blow that smoking gun

what an innings burst the palliasse

Siegfried's got a dame but lost his ring

fat lady sing

don't sign here!